Monday, September 26, 2005

Slurvian Rhapsody

an English ode in the Brooklynese dialect

She's such a lookuh
Is our dear Maura
Youse can't never not
Ignore huh

She don't need gole joolery
To be pretty
She just flash dem poifet poils
Das in her mowt

She don't need to pout
To be inter-resting
She just relaxes, smiles,
Foot traffic backs up for miles

She don't need no bling
Cause da sparkle's in her oys
She don't need to make no nerse
Just softly moves huh lips
An we benna ear to hear huh woids

An, no, she don't go
To no tannin parlas
Cause she gots such poifet skin
Like bran new bat room poicelain

(When you got great skin
You look so cute
Yer poifet tan's
A silk white union suit)

An unnerneat it all
She has a heart as woim
As an erl boiner

A mind dat gleams with light
Like da pervoibeeyall
Poil in da erster

An a disposition flawless
As a pussycat dat's clawless

Hey, all de goils
Dat ever wuh
Aint not so fair
And nice as huh

Yousha live dat long
Ta find such a Grade A cherce tomater!
Ya'd be a dumbstruck lucky schmuck
Wuh ya justa date huh

Youse could look all troo
Da County Gloccamorra
An youse'd not never find
A beeyouteeyous goil so fine
As our sweet Maura

And smart! Who knew?!
She can read a book dat big!
And can look stuff up on da computuh
She can argue so pat and poifet
Dat youse can't not dispute huh

Uhuh, an she still gots it!
Yeah, tho she might be thoity
She saunters by so nonchalant like
So Drop Dead, New York lovely
Like a headline in da news

Ana bingity bang!
Yer thinkin hoity toity
Thoughts of writin poesy
(...Hey, like my boy Moity
Down dere in Joysey)

Wuh she ta wawk
Over da bridge
Inna da city
It'd be da day
Da ert stood still

Like inna movie!
All dem zhlubs
Dey'd getoutta dere cars
And look dere fill
She wouldna even know dis

Just anotha day
On da gridlock

Dat's what she'd say
Now dat's our Maura
An at's why we adore huh

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