Monday, September 26, 2005
Slurvian Rhapsody
an English ode in the Brooklynese dialect
She's such a lookuh
Is our dear Maura
Youse can't never not
Ignore huh
She don't need gole joolery
To be pretty
She just flash dem poifet poils
Das in her mowt
She don't need to pout
To be inter-resting
She just relaxes, smiles,
Foot traffic backs up for miles
She don't need no bling
Cause da sparkle's in her oys
She don't need to make no nerse
Just softly moves huh lips
An we benna ear to hear huh woids
An, no, she don't go
To no tannin parlas
Cause she gots such poifet skin
Like bran new bat room poicelain
(When you got great skin
You look so cute
Yer poifet tan's
A silk white union suit)
An unnerneat it all
She has a heart as woim
As an erl boiner
A mind dat gleams with light
Like da pervoibeeyall
Poil in da erster
An a disposition flawless
As a pussycat dat's clawless
II.
Hey, all de goils
Dat ever wuh
Aint not so fair
And nice as huh
Fuhgeddaboudit!
Yousha live dat long
Ta find such a Grade A cherce tomater!
Ya'd be a dumbstruck lucky schmuck
Wuh ya justa date huh
Youse could look all troo
Da County Gloccamorra
An youse'd not never find
A beeyouteeyous goil so fine
As our sweet Maura
And smart! Who knew?!
She can read a book dat big!
And can look stuff up on da computuh
She can argue so pat and poifet
Dat youse can't not dispute huh
Uhuh, an she still gots it!
Yeah, tho she might be thoity
She saunters by so nonchalant like
So Drop Dead, New York lovely
Like a headline in da news
Ana bingity bang!
Yer thinkin hoity toity
Thoughts of writin poesy
(...Hey, like my boy Moity
Down dere in Joysey)
III.
Wuh she ta wawk
Over da bridge
Inna da city
It'd be da day
Da ert stood still
Like inna movie!
All dem zhlubs
Dey'd getoutta dere cars
And look dere fill
She wouldna even know dis
Just anotha day
On da gridlock
Dat's what she'd say
Now dat's our Maura
An at's why we adore huh
She's such a lookuh
Is our dear Maura
Youse can't never not
Ignore huh
She don't need gole joolery
To be pretty
She just flash dem poifet poils
Das in her mowt
She don't need to pout
To be inter-resting
She just relaxes, smiles,
Foot traffic backs up for miles
She don't need no bling
Cause da sparkle's in her oys
She don't need to make no nerse
Just softly moves huh lips
An we benna ear to hear huh woids
An, no, she don't go
To no tannin parlas
Cause she gots such poifet skin
Like bran new bat room poicelain
(When you got great skin
You look so cute
Yer poifet tan's
A silk white union suit)
An unnerneat it all
She has a heart as woim
As an erl boiner
A mind dat gleams with light
Like da pervoibeeyall
Poil in da erster
An a disposition flawless
As a pussycat dat's clawless
II.
Hey, all de goils
Dat ever wuh
Aint not so fair
And nice as huh
Fuhgeddaboudit!
Yousha live dat long
Ta find such a Grade A cherce tomater!
Ya'd be a dumbstruck lucky schmuck
Wuh ya justa date huh
Youse could look all troo
Da County Gloccamorra
An youse'd not never find
A beeyouteeyous goil so fine
As our sweet Maura
And smart! Who knew?!
She can read a book dat big!
And can look stuff up on da computuh
She can argue so pat and poifet
Dat youse can't not dispute huh
Uhuh, an she still gots it!
Yeah, tho she might be thoity
She saunters by so nonchalant like
So Drop Dead, New York lovely
Like a headline in da news
Ana bingity bang!
Yer thinkin hoity toity
Thoughts of writin poesy
(...Hey, like my boy Moity
Down dere in Joysey)
III.
Wuh she ta wawk
Over da bridge
Inna da city
It'd be da day
Da ert stood still
Like inna movie!
All dem zhlubs
Dey'd getoutta dere cars
And look dere fill
She wouldna even know dis
Just anotha day
On da gridlock
Dat's what she'd say
Now dat's our Maura
An at's why we adore huh
