Friday, May 15, 2009

How Does She Menage?

"This week on New Urban Lifestyles Radio we interview
sex-expert Marian Aspell-Clute on the new gelatinous dildoes;
does she recommend them? Radio, plus imagination."

For one Marian Aspell-Clute
Few things are absolute.
She's so relativistic
She's slob-solipsistic,
Jump-the-shark narcissistic to boot.

Not content to be just homosexual,
She's also latently heterosexual; Right!;
Give her time, troop detachments,
Door knobs, tool attachments,
None, none!, will estrange her affections.

Sheep, goats, cats sans claws,
Beef tongue, rabbit paws,
Insistently vibrating cellulars,
Cylindrical vegetable cellulose,
All, ah!, will be part of her cause.

So sex-expert Aspell-Clute,
Sipping OJ and Absolut,
While dining out at brunch,
Said, I do like to carpet-munch,
But I'd, too, like to toodle a flute.

So she got her new cute Mr. Clute,
Her latest menage recruit;
Then boyfriend and girlfriend both "faced" her,
And she had a child by a turkey baster,
Quoth Mr. M. Mooney, Poetaster.



Marian, how do you manage?
With both a hubba and a wife?
Said she:
I manage menages by giving massages,
Also by serving Bordeaux et Fromages,
Thus softening the tension and strife.
La, la,
Quieting tension and strife.

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