MICHAEL DENNIS MOONEY -- new writings

(for the restaurant industry)

Thou serve'st thy patron too much salt
His hypertension shalt be thy fault

Thou sautee'st his meat in fat
Thou couldst end up in court for that

He spillst hot coffee in his lap
Thou art takin the hit for that

So much sugar in his donut sprinkles!
Thou art liable for his belly wrinkles

He slice'st himself with too sharp a knife
Thou couldst soon be doin life

Thy customer's grown fat and squat
Thou hath not fed him as one ought

He turnst ugly, way unfashionable
His lack-a-mojo is now actionable

All he canst do is dream-n-snoozeth
Desire for the wife hath been removethed

Now all he wisheth for is food
(Only thing that lift'th his mood)

If thou hadst served brown rice and peas
Thou wouldst not be on thy legal knees


"Mike Bloomberg's Commandments" first appeared in the NYTIMES.COM Freakonomics
weblog, on March 25, 2010, as a comment on the post, "As A Part of New Healthcare Law,
Calorie Counts Go Nationwide" by Stephen Dubner.